Mother In Law Nightmare
by Sands of Patience
Summary: Somethings should really just be left unknown...TenRose and Jackie's attempt for DavidJackieUPDATED FINALLY!
1. The Beginning of His End

Rose was wandering around the library of the TARDIS, thinking, just thinking, as one thing kept niggling at the back of her head.

_'What does the Doctor have against my mum?'_

The lights in the room brightened, as if the TARDIS was encouraging her to find the Doctor and talk to him. Not that he was hard to locate – she found the Doctor in the console room, tinkering with the TARDIS as usual.

"Rose! Ah, hello, I'm just setting a course for London, that alright?" He glanced up at her grinning. "Only as a visit of course!" he added seeing her look of shock, and then went back to work setting the controls.

Rose sighed in relief, her attention going back to her previous thoughts.

_'I wonder. If he has a new body, maybe that means he can put up with my mother. It is logical. Hmm, I'll see how he reacts.'_

"So will you come have dinner at mums with me when we get there?" Rose asked casually but softly. The Doctor wasn't really listening to Rose, his attention more on the TARDIS controls.

"Yea sure, whatever you want, Rose," he commented "Hang on! What? Dinner! No!" He jumped up as he realised what she actually asked.

"Oh, come on, Doctor. It's only dinner!" Rose whined, following the Doctor as he raced around the controls, flicking switches, turning knobs and pulling levers. The Doctor in return stopped what he was doing, turned to Rose and waved his hands around in wild protest.

"No, no, no, no, no! Just because I am slightly younger, slightly better looking, and slightly different does not mean that I am capable of putting up with your mother!"

"Why not, Doctor?" Rose stamped her foot resembling a somewhat two year old. "It's not as if she's ever done anything to you."

A silence followed.

"Well...um actually." He looked around awkwardly trying to avoid her stare.

"Or should I be saying with you!" Rose said suspiciously, on the inside she was boiling with rage.

"Rose! That's just… disturbing. How could you say that? NO! How could you even think that I would ever initiate any intimate activities with your mother?" The Doctor grimaced with revulsion and shock. Rose grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Well knowing my mother..." she trailed off but then posed the big question. "What did she do anyway?" Her grin grew impossibly wider. The Doctor turned away from Rose, tucking his hands in his new defensive stance.

"Nothing I wish to discuss ever," he muttered so softly that Rose only just heard and she pouted.

"Fine, but if you don't tell me what she did, you have to come to dinner with me!" Rose looked smugly at him.

The Doctor turned back around, manic grin plastered on his face.

"Well let's get hopping then!" he exclaimed bouncing out of the TARDIS, not waiting up for Rose.

She quickly followed after him and muttered to herself. "Geez, it must have been really bad."

She ran as fast as she could, catching up to the Doctor who was striding down the road trying to get away from her. As she approached him she felt even more frustrated.

"I just don't get it. You've battled Daleks, Cybermen, and the Master multiple times... as well as the-" The Doctor spun to face her utterly confused.

"How do you know about them?"

"I dunno really, I just know all this stuff that I didn't before I came to save you. But that's not important!" The Doctor nodded, and muttered "Bad Wolf" so quietly Rose didn't hear him.

She stopped and looked him in the eye and everything ceased to move.

"So why is dinner with my mother scarier than any of those?" She questioned him tilting her head slightly and staring right into those brown orbs.

"Well for one, Rose, that was fighting and defeating, and this," pointing to her apartment, "is dining, and two, you might not be aware of it, but your mother is worse than all of them put together." At this Rose just scoffed.

"You are such scaredy cat!" He looked at her plainly bewildered.

"She is!" How on Earth could she not believe him?

"You're just afraid you'll be copping another slap!" Rose smirked look at him become even more uncomfortable.

"No, I just, she's, never mind," he looked down at the ground defeated.

"Come on, it won't be that bad!" Rose said somewhat encouragingly. "Knowing her, she'll absolutely love this new you!" As she started walking ahead of him up the first flight of stairs.

The Doctor trudged behind and whispered, "That's what I'm afraid of," before catching up to Rose.


	2. Who's This New Sexy Bloke?

**Yes I am updating already, inspired by thereviews I have already received. I would like to warn you that this chapter may cause some to fall off their chairs laughing, it has happened before. **

**And also a note that my friend suspiciously brought up, yes some of the opinions in this chapter are to blame of personal opinion (points to Jackie's thoughts). Now enjoy and please review I would like to know if it is good or bad! Anyway on with the story!**

**xxx Sands of Patience**

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_Knock. Knock_

Jackie Tyler jumped up off her armchair in front of the tellie, to answer the door; hopefully it was that cute technician dropping by again.

Putting on her best flirtatious smile, she opened the door to find it wasn't that cute technician, but instead was a much nicer looking man.

_'Now isn't he such a sexy beast!'_ she thought to herself

"Mum! How are you?" she heard a squeal as she was bowled over by a blonde, as she realised…

"Rose! You're back! Oh My God! What have you and that no good alien been up to?" she exclaimed, so glad to see her daughter again. However she thoroughly more interested in the intriguing brunette next to her.

"Well don't just stand there, come in!" Jackie shouted and pulled them inside the apartment, and somewhat clinging to this new bloke that accompanied Rose.

_'Not again!'_ he thought, '_of all the women in the world, she just had to be Roses mother!'_ The Doctor thought as he squirmed under Jackie's intense gaze, trying to hide behind his adored Rose, but unfortunately for him, he was not hidden enough.

As Jackie pulled them in she clung to him, _'Oh God, make this end! Please'_

"Well I'm gonna go and grab some of my stuff, while you two, get reacquainted and also decide on dinner" Rose said as she walked in the direction of her old bedroom.

_'Rose! No! Don't leave me here you conniving, sexy, evil, mean and unfair, little … thing!'_ He thought as he watch Rose saunter off.

Suddenly the little voice that almost every being in the universe possessed decided to make an appearance:

_'Oh great come back genius! You know for a Time Lord you are really stupid!'_

_'I am not stupid!'_ He retorted

_'Yes, you are. Why didn't you just say no to dinner and tell her what happened?'_ The voice exclaimed

_'It is embarrassing'_ he said in reply, for it was truly embarrassing.

_'Was that worse than this?'_ It pointed out to him

'_No Way!'_

_'Well, there's your answer, you nitwit! Have fun with that monster of a mother-in-law'_

_'NO! Hang on Mother-in-law?'_ He thought in confusion, but the voice inside his head was gone.

His attention was turned back to Jackie, who was looking at him as if he were sex on a stick. He cringed.

"So, we've met before, have we? I don't think I could ever possibly forget a handsome guy like you"

"Well um… you would be surprised Jackie" he squirmed uncontrollably, anxious for Rose's return.

"You aren't that kid Rose dated before are you?" Jackie asked curiously, trying to suss out who he was and if she could grab him.

"No this is a more recent um… development" He suggested

"Ahh so you must be one of those guys Rose met though Mickey?" as she said this Jackie moved over closer.

"Definitely not!" He scoffed while trying to dodge Jackie.

"Well it doesn't matter anyway, I mean anything can happen," she pushed him onto the lounge, "I mean you are a nice, tall, handsome guy and extremely attractive and…"

The Doctor couldn't take it! There was too little space between them, with her edging closer after every 'and'.

If he had an honest opinion in this matter, that gap of a mere few millimetres would be a gap of a mere few_ hundred _galaxies. She was far too close for comfort!

Just then, Rose walked back into the room with a huge suitcase, and a look of utter shock at the scene that lay before her.

"What are you two-" but the Doctor interrupted her

"Ahh yes, Rose! Can I talk to you for a minute?" He leaped off the couch at lightning speed and bolted over to where Rose was situated. Unfortunately Jackie followed right behind him.

"Alone!" he asked suddenly.

Jackie shot him a rather evil glare at this but he didn't notice as he was more focused on getting away from her.

Rose led him down the hallway to just outside her room so they could talk without her mum overhearing their conversation.

She stood there, leaning on the wall, arms crossed, eyes that normally were full of happiness and excitement were full of anger, hurt and most of all jealousy and glaring at the ground and then she spoke.

"I thought you couldn't stand my mother?" Her words singed with bitterness, the cold tone perfectly portraying how she felt about what she had just witnessed.

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "I can't! What in the name of Raxacorricofallapatorious, were you thinking, leaving me there with her like that?" He glared at her, and she, in turn, glared back with twice the ferocity. Rose ignored the last bit.

"Oh it so looked like you couldn't bear putting up with her. Do you actually think I am that stupid?" The Doctor looked at Rose, not believing that she just i actually /i said that. He grabbed a hold of her shoulders and shaking them, trying to knock some sense into her.

"No! Of course you're not stupid! But Rose, honestly, think about it. Me, The Doctor, having fun, with _your_ mother." Unfortunately for him, she still looked as if she was just as, if not more angry with him.

He let go of her, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

"I can't believe she had the nerve to come onto me again," he cringed,

"Honestly, it was bad enough the first time she - I – whoops. Did I just say that out loud?"

The Doctor turned away from Rose and faced the wall, and proceeded to hit his head against it multiple times.

Rose was still processing what he had just said. She looked at the back of his head wide eyed and speechless. Realising what he was doing she moved over to him and turned him around, to prevent more pain that he would feel later on.

"Hold on...again?" He nodded mutely, like a little boy who had just been punished. "You mean to tell me this has happened before?" He once again nodded.

"Yes again." The Doctor sighed, running a hand through his hair. Rose looked at him, sympathetically.

"When was this?" She asked softly, he looked at her.

"First time I was at your apartment," and with that, Rose suddenly burst into giggles; the Doctor looked at her sternly.

"What, may I ask, I so funny?" A minute later when her giggles had died down she cleared her throat and spoke.

"I just realised that my mum came onto you, in her bathrobe!" And she was off again, leaning on him for stability.

"Rose," he groaned, "This is exactly why I didn't tell you in the first place!" She looked up at him, with tears running down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry Doctor. I couldn't help it!" she looked at him mischievously

"Whether you could help laughing at my expense or not, we have a great, big, stinking problem!" He pointed out as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"And what, pray tell, is this great, big, stinking problem?"

There was a silence, before he announced…

"What are we going to do about your mother?"

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Review! That little button below? Yeah that one, the big button! Press it and tell me what you think! 


	3. AN: IM BACK! PLEASE READ

Hello everyone!

As I have mentioned in Stormy Seas Change I am back!!!!!!!!!!!

And as I have promised I do have some content that maybe worthy of a chapter for Mother-In-Law Nightmare, however on big stinking problem (as the Doctor said)

I NEED A BETA badly!!! For this fic and also Stormy Seas. If you would like to help me just send me a message or tell me througha review ok? If you guys don't care about me posting Un beta-ed work please tell me, because I am paranoid of flames for bad grammar especially in this fic, I have 12 reviews. And considering I only have 2 official chapter's that is huge!

While I wait for a beta read Stormy Seas Change, it is getting really good finally. But I will put a chapter up beta'd or not by the end of the week I SWEAR!!!

Enjoy for now.

And thanks for all the reviews already.


	4. Chapter 3: Totally misunderstood

**I'm back yay! I promised you this sooooo nlong ago, this is a bit angsty so I will have to whip up funny chapter for chappie 4! I hope you guys don't mind it, because I have no idea where I am going with this lol, but Jackie is still funny and the Doctor we... he's the Doctor!**

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Chapter 3: Totally misunderstanding...

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Rose stepped walked cautiously back down the hallway, edging closer and closer to where her mother was situated.

_'Just remember what the Doctor said, keep her distracted'_

She stood up tall and marched over to Jackie ready to divert the attention.

"So Mum… What you been up to since I was gone?" she said awkwardly

"Not much dear, just you know, this and that really" Jackie replied not really paying attention.

"Where is that male friend of yours? Wasn't he talking to you?" She said peering down the hallway. Rose jumped up and blocked the hallway from Jackie's view.

"Well, he smelt really, really bad, and he was asking if he could borrow my old shower, just to wash off." Rose fumbled trying to make an excuse for the Doctor's absence. Unfortunately it had the opposite effect…

"Ooh! Really? Well, we should have a little peek!" Jackie exclaimed mischievously. Rose just stood there.

"You did not just say that Mum!" She smack herself on the forehead (AKA headpalm)

"What is wrong darling? You seem a bit irritated." Jackie said concerned

"Of course I am irritated, I bring a guy into the house and you just start full out hitting on him. Leave him alone he is my friend and I want him to myself" Rose shouted, her self control jumping out the window.

"Rose! What on Earth are you going on about? I thought it was you and the Doctor" Jackie said incredulously.

_'What in God's name is going on? She brings a nice lad home, while with the Doctor who I know she is smitten with, and then claims that this one's hers too! What is he her play toy? If he were mine he would certainly not be a mere thing like that' _Jackie thought to herself

"He IS The Doctor!" Rose exclaimed.

"What do you mean he is the Doctor" Jackie asked angrily

"Well…you see… he's not _The_ Doctor but a different doctor. He's not the same man, this guy is like a different person completely, the Doctor wouldn't come up to have dinner you know that, that is why David is here with me" Rose explained trying to come up with a reasonable excuse.

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Meanwhile, by decision of the spirit of bad timing (aka me!), The Doctor is walking up the hallway…

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"_He's not the same man, this guy is like a different person completely, the Doctor wouldn't come up to have dinner you know that"_ He had heard enough, he thought they had gotten past that stage, thought she realized he was the Doctor!

The Doctor's hearts broke. She still didn't believe him, after all he had done.

'_I'm sure she didn't mean it. She had to say something to throw off Jackie.' _His voice had returned.

'_You heard her, I'm not the Doctor.'_

'_Fine believe what you want, just hear her out later'_

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Back with Rose…

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"Well…you see… he's not _The_ Doctor but a different doctor. He's not the same man, this guy is like a different person completely, the Doctor wouldn't come up to have dinner you know that, that is why David is here with me" Rose explained trying to come up with a reasonable excuse.

'_You know that's not true though Rose' _Rose's voice appeared (about time!) in her head.

'_I know that, you know that, but how do I explain that to Mum'_

'_Just be careful of what you say Rose Tyler'_

'_What is that supposed to mean?'_

But the voice was gone.

"So why are you into this guy then? What's happen to the Doctor?" Jackie said nosily.

"Well you see, The Doctor is, well, um, how do I say this? Uh, it would never work out. He doesn't want me, isn't interested in me to say the least and he would never settled down." Rose said confused

"Bollocks, you two are smitten, destined even. You are just meant to be together!"

"No mum we are not. He could never settle down, not that I would want to of course. But the Doctor and I don't work like that it is more mutual admiration and affection. There is nothing like that between us, we just aren't meant to be a couple." _'Not that I don't want to' _Rose thought to herself,

_' God! Where is he, he should have disappeared by now! He has not even walked past me once. I am so glad he isn't around listening, I mean none of this.'_

'_Karma's a bitch Rose'_ the voice in her head said.

'_What do you mean?' _But once again it was gone.

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Back to the Doctor…

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'_I guess the voice is right, I should hear her out, and she is talking to Jackie.' _He thought.

The Doctor walked back down the hallway _again_ after trudging off to Rose's room. Jackie and Rose were still talking. He was supposed to be escaping but at the moment he really didn't feel like it.

"_The Doctor and I don't work like that; it is more mutual admiration and affection. There is nothing like that between us, we just aren't meant to be a couple."_

'_So first I'm not the Doctor and now we don't work like that' _The Doctor was fuming, '_it appears I was so very wrong about Miss Rose Tyler. God I was so stupid, stupid Time Lord, falling for a human like that!'_

The Doctor marched back up to Rose's room, and started banging his head on the wall, as tears trickled down his face.

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Rose Again!

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A loud banging resounded through the flat.

"Rose! What is that noise?" Jackie asked worryingly

"Um, no idea Mum. I'll go check and see if it is David." Rose said rapidly as she raced off in the direction of her room.

Dun Dun DUuuuuuuun! lol! there is my early xmas pressie to you! Enjoy and review.


	5. Kinda Chap 4 Alt: Dont Forget Me!

**A/N: Okay this is a kind of fake-ish chapter, like an alternate pathway it could take, a rather melodramatic, cliche and soapie pathway. **

**I was gonna make this a little side one shot but decided to add it in here so you guys are entertained while you wait for the real update, which is probably a day max away! **

**Thankyou for your patience and your reviews 16 of them!!!! that is amazing most reviews for one fic I am so happy. In the meantime please read my other fics if you want. Enjoy, this hilarious, outrageous and uncalled for chapter!**

**PS: The next update will continue from Chapter 3 not this chapter lol!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. Or David Tennant.**

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**Recap:** "Um, no idea Mum. I'll go check and see if it is David." Rose said rapidly as she raced off in the direction of her room.

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**Chapter 4  
Don't Forget Me**

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Doctor's POV

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The door swung open and I turned to see an angel standing in the doorway who seemed rather familiar, she stepped over and I realized it was a woman, a very attractive woman…

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Rose's POV

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I rushed down the hallway wondering what on Earth he was doing in there.

I swung open the door and he just turned to face me, and I saw the tears down his cheeks.

'_Oh God! He heard what I said, how will I ever make this right again?'_

And then he spoke out...

"I feel as if in the presence of an angel, but I must ask you one thing…"

Rose's breath hitched.

_'What is he going to say?'_

"Who are you?"

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**Doctor's POV

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"You have got to be kidding me!" She shouted and then ran from the room as she burst into tears.**

I had no idea what was going on, who was that strange beauty? Who was she?

But more importantly… Who am I?

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FLASHBACK

"_**He IS the Doctor"

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The Doctor… But Doctor Who?????

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**Meanwhile with Jackie**

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_'She's not serious is she? Of course her and that Doctor work like that... Oh My God! Aren't they cpmpatible, oh poor Rose, not being able to get her satisfaction from the man she loves, well, alien... At least she has David.'_

At this moment Rose ran past Jackie crying loudly, heading towards the front door. But Jackie grabbed onto her arm.

"Rose! What happened in there? What is wrong?" Rose just burst into new tears.

"He heard me... say those things...heartbroken...banging head on wall,crying...head jumbled...amnesia" Rose sobbed

_'Oh no! He has amnesia and can't remember Rose'_

"I can't take this Mum, it was supposed to be a nice trip here, I need a walk" And with that Rose ran out of the flat.

Jackie just stood there contemplating what to do. She looked up to see David standing next to her.

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"David are you alright?"

"David? Is that my name? I thought I was The Doctor?" he looked at her confused.

"Well Rose did say that you were some kind of Doctor... Do you remember anything at all?"

"Um... no... Who's Rose? Was she that beautiful angel that came into the room I was in?" Jackie looked a slight bit jealous

"Yes that was my daughter Rose, I'm Jackie by the way" Jackie had an idea, as she started to smile smile flirtatiously.

"JAckie it is a pleasure to meet you, I am David, at least that is what you told me." He said politely

"Would you like me to show you around the flat, just so you can get your bearings?" Jackie smiled suggestively, however, The Doctor was as blind as he was without amnesia.

"Sure that would be great!" The Doctor said enthusiastically.

_'What Rose doesn't know won't kill her'_

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Jackie started showing him the kitchen, dining, lounge, bathroom, Rose's room and lastly... her room!

Through the trip Jackie ran her hand down his arm as well as rubbed his back, which would have been a sign of support had her hand _not_ slid under the waistband of his pants!

The Doctor started to feel rather uncomfortable

_'I have a feeling that I am not supposed to do this, I should be running from her. This niggling in my head telling me to run, run fast, find Rose... why?'_

_'Because this is Jackie we are talking about?'_ The little voice apparently did not have amnesia

_'Who are you?'_

_'Um the voice in your head duh!'_

_'Well I don't really want to run!'_

_'Seriously you should, this is Jackie!!' _The Doctor ws really confused

_'She's not that bad, she is helping me out' _The little voice scoffed

_'Yeah right just if she starts taking off your clothes or her own, RUN!'_

_'Um, okay!'_

The Doctor turned around to see Jackie in a pair of lingerie, had they been on someone attractive would have looked great but this was disturbing...But then Jackie walked over and leaned in, kissing him hard. He stood there wide eyed, scared out of his wit. He was trying to get away when...

**"MUM!"** Rose was back...

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"Rose thank god you are here, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you and thank you!" He held her close to him and then kissed her excitedly. She was gobsmacked.

"You remember me then?" She asked hopefully.

"No, but I thought I should say thankyou" Rose frowned, but then smiled.

"Oh well. Hopefully we can regain those memories soon."

The Doctor felt his heart, no hold on, hearts racing!!

"AAAAGGHHH!" The Doctor screamed.

"What is wrong Doctor?" Rose asked worriedly.

"I have two hearts!!!" He pointed at his chest.

"Oh no!" Rose said

"Is there anything else I have two of that I should be informed about Rose?" He said suggestively and waggling his eyebrow, Rose nearly fainted in shock at this.

Rose just stared at him, he was openly using innuendo.

"That is something I would like to know" Jackie said, more curious about David's _anatomy_ rather than the two hearts comments or the slip up.

"I think we can leave that til later Doctor, David." She said slipping up, Jackie was too annoyed with the rejection of David and Rose's attitude to notice.

"Fine I will talk to you two later then. But for now I must change" Jackie said still in the lingerie.

"Thank Rassilon" The Doctor muttered, Rose giggled.

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And there you have the entertainment! I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did writing it. I loved writing those typical Doctor gags, with him saying them lol! I f anyone for any reason wants this ontinued tell me and after I finish the real fic I _may_ do a run off to this.

If for some reason I don't update before Xmas, merry christmas, and enjoy Runaway Bride although I can't see it, I'm in Australia :(


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